Hiatus

Okay, so I've been away a little.

Okay, maybe more than a little.

Been neglecting the whole getting fit thing, but I'm back!   I've moved house, I now live in a nice new home with a friend from work, and it's going really well.
We have a gym almost set up in the garage - I'll post pics when its done - though I'm yet to use it.  Been fighting the depression and self-hatered a little bit, I'm sure I'll get over it.

This thing with Julian is bugging me, but hey, I guess I asked for it.

I promise that I will once again post every day.

But I'm kinda worried, because new housemate just asked me how I would take it if he moved back to Queensland... FML...  I can't afford full rent here, but I do kinda get his motivation.  Work is pretty shit these days, the company is getting bought out, and long story short, most of the staff in his area have already bailed, so he's thinking about doing the same.  I don't know what I'll do if he leaves... It was supposed to be me moving in six months, not him moving in one month... crap.

I feel bad that I haven't been posting on fitday.com since my laptop died (I mean, it stood on itself and the screen broke, okay?!!), even though I've been on it every day at work.  In a slump fitness-wise, and I know they'll be encouraging, but, kinda like IRL, I don't want them to see me struggling.  Stupid, I know.

Anyway, housemate is back, so better go before he sees that I have a blog.

Cheers, anyone who still checks this!  :)

Totm

Ugh... Feel miserable.  Worst totm ever.  And I can't sleep because she's doing gardening, being as loud as fucking possible right next to my window.  Can't wait to move out.  Also massive craving for pepperoni \ cheese pizza, and salt and vinegar chips.  Pretty sure I'll have both by the end of the night.

Omg

So can't wait to move.  Holy shit, this is really happening.  Woohoo!

Shopping whore

Went to the shops for a portable DVD player.  Came out with a monitor, a gaming mouse and a gaming keyboard.  I can't afford this.  When the hell did shopping become my depression cure??  I've never been one of THOSE girls.  Oh well, at least it was geeky stuff and not shoes or shit like that.

Confused

Ugh.  I'm in bed at half six.  Confused about Julian.  I don't know what he wants. I think after 23 years of not having a guy look at me romantically - well, except Bryan, but back to him later - I can't imagine what a guy would see in me.  Especially a guy 26 years my senior.  What the hell am I thinking?  I mean, he knows my quirks, touch phobia, virgin, never had a bf thing, so what does he want?
Okay, I think its easier to be honest in my blog if I post via email, since I can't see the hit count or read my old posts.  With this, I type what I'm thinking and hit send. Sure, it takes twice as long and my spelling on the phone is a bit ducky, but hey, whatever works.
He doesn't use punctuation or capitals properly.  Is that petty?  He's grown man, but can't take the time to write a text properly?  I'm not talking autocorrect fuckups cause I make my fair share of those, but it shits me.
Bryan.  Oh boy.  What to do... I'm moving in with the guy, I'm seeing someone else, yet I can't help hoping this stupid phobia disappears overnight so we can get together.  That's what I like about him, we went out for dinner once, and had a good chat about what we want, and for him sex is a big thing. Not in the cliched all males want sex way, but as part of a trusting loving relationship.  And that's the one thing I can't give him.  Well, I can't give him a hug either, but that's kinda beside the point. 
I don't know what I'm doing.
One day at a time I think.

"Lets see how fast this think can go."
- The Dresden Dolls, 'Delilah'.

Moving out!

Yay been accepted and moving out next week.  You cannot get the smile off my face.  :D

Adventure!

So my laptop is still fucked, but I'll use it tonight to post a real post, olny the screen is screwy.  I'm moving out.  I spoke to my dad and he's going to lend me the money so Bryan and I can get a place.  So happy.  Almost cried telling one of the forkies the news.  So we'll  start.looking right away, and as soon as we find somewhere we can apply.  Can't stop smiling.  :)