Clubbing...

Hi all!
Had an interesting Friday night... went to a friends place (oh, you guys that know me IRL, if you can work out who I'm talking about this goes no further than the blog!  <3), and we ended up going out.  I'd only had two drinks in the four hours I'd been there, so I ended up driving my best mate's partner's car to the club.  Well that had me nervous enough, cause it's like a freakin V8 or whatever the hell powermachines are called, and I'm used to driving a tiny bitch-car, but we picked up my friend's niece from the station and got to the club okay.
There's a place I like to park, because it's where the band members also park, so I parked it there, and we went in.
Had a fun night, the band was great, and for those that don't know me, I can't dance to normal cub kinda music, I only dig the old school rock, and the band are a coverband that do a mix of old and new.  So it could be Metallica one minute, and Rhianna the next, nice little mix.
Around 3amish we decide to call if a night (especially when I saw a police officer come in and chat to security), and we went outside.  Well three police cars next, there's some incident in the car park.  Now, my friends are fairly smashed, and I only had one drink when we first got to the club, so I was fine to drive, but the guy bleeding from his face learning on my mate's car kinda derailed that plan.  I calmed down my friend who was fairly freaking out, and went to speak to an officer that couldn't tell me anything.  :S
Long story short, eventually face-bleeding guy and his friends left, and security told us that we could go, so we got back to their place safely, despite my returning nerves at driving someone else's car.
When we got back to my mate's, we were standing in the kitchen talking, and I took off my necklace, when I saw blood on my hand.  WTF?!  So we started to go to the car to see if there was blood on it, when I realized that I had some strange dude's blood on my hand.  That's when the freaking started.  Don't get me wrong, if it was my friend's blood, or someone I knew it wouldn't bother me, but some guy that obviously got into a fight in not the best part of Melbourne?  I don't want his blood on me.  To be honest it still kinda bothers me, but trying not to think of it.
So that's my latest story from that nightclub (let's call it The Dirty V... cause it's name starts with V and it is kinda seedy...).  Technically the police didn't say we could take the car, but it wasn't being treated like a crime scene, and as far as I know they haven't contacted my friend, so that's probably the last we'll hear of it.
I would like to say thanks to all good security guards out there, you cop a lot of shit to keep us safe!  <3

FML

Well shit.
Homeowner just came home.  It's Thursday night, scratch that, Friday morning.  She said she'd be here maybe Sat, probably Sun.  So the house was a mess, I feel so fuckin' guilty, cause she shouldn't have to come home to the mess, but at the same time, WTF???  Seriously, heads up would have been nice.  I was planning on doing all the work tomorrow after work, so much for that idea.  And she's a tad passive-aggressive, so fun times ahead for sure.  Funny, only a few hours ago I was hanging out for when she got back, because I'd be too embarrassed to eat bad food with her here, and now I'm kinda pissed that she is.
Doubt I'll get much, if any, sleep tonight, given that it's midnight, thinking about going to the gym right now to get out for a little while, but that might be too obvious.
So kinda feeling like rock and a hard place, on a good note, I'm considering doing some heavy drinking tomorrow (to...?) night, seeing as how it's been a while, and I just may puke up the calories I drink, so it's win/win, right?   ;)  Okay, so I won't drink that much, but I'd rather be punching a punching bag to vent, rather than typing, seeing as how my keyboard is so delicate.

Escape

I feel I need to get away from everything, get my head screwed on straight.
Go somewhere no one knows me.
Dream on.

AFK and MIA, not KIA!

Hi all!
I'm back!  Woohoo!
Up, down, sideways, these are my emotions.
Haven't gymmed in way too long, was going to this afternoon but had organized for a friend to visit, so didn't after work.  Then after I picked him up from the station I made the fatal mistake of bringing my gym bag inside - why, I don't know - and forgot it until I was halfway to his place - an hour from where I live.
I could go now, but a bit emotionally wrecked.  Might write more on that topic later, might not.
For now I really need some sleep, so thanks for hanging in there, it's encouraging to see the view count go up - even when I wasn't posting! - so thanks.  :)

Internet, or lack thereof

Just a quick one to say that I'm doing much better than I was on my last post - what a freaking downer!! - but I don't have internet access until Friday, so no more posts for a few days.
My goals are going well, been to the gym three times, and will go again tonight after movie night, quite enjoying the lack of people there. :D
Cheers all, look forward to updating you at the end of the week!   :)

Insecure

I don't know.  I'm almost scared of going to the gym.  I mean, I've been to gyms before, but I think I've gotten even more insecure over time.  I don't want people to see me working out.  I'm disgusting... at least in my own mind.  I need a hug.

Unsure

Debating going to the gym.  I went this afternoon after work, and joined, as well as getting a 12 session pass and a security pass to get in after hours.  Hating myself, was doing good on the Lite n Easy, but of course now that I had some money I figure, may as well go past McDonalds on the way home.  Why do I do that to myself?  Then of course because I've blown today, what does it matter if I eat half a packet of biscuits?  Didn't eat tonight's dinner, think I've eaten enough for today.
I've got this great plan, you know?  Join the RAAF, see where the career takes me.  Then I get depressed, and start thinking why would they even want someone like me?  What do I have to offer.  Then I usually cry myself to sleep.
It's funny, that as an ex-cutter (6 months clean, woohoo!) I could purposly hurt myself and feel pain, yet when it comes to 'good' pain of working out to lose weight I can't push myself that extra step.  Damn I wish there were fat people in the boot camp I used to go to.  Will post goals later, depending on if I go to the gym.